Peace and love

Spring and hats

2009-03-17T11:42:00.001-07:00

Here comes our
secret agent N 1

I LOVE the
spring air!

My favourite food: babymungs with red bell pepper and leek.

Sometimes I put some green peeper in as well.

Do you recognize this girl???

Teethbrushingtime :)

Me after a special "carrots&parsley day".

I do sometimes have very special days like a mango,
an appple or a carrot only day. It's fun!

Avos: yum-yum!

The warm coldness

2009-02-09T12:17:00.000-08:00

It's been so cold that I HAD to go running in order to get nice and warm. From then on it felt great though and I was warmed up from inside for the whole day :-)

My favourite food is spinach right now,-yum-yum!

Here come some friendly peeps :

Charlie is enjoying his guac with tomatoes,
peppers and cucumber.

It was cold but sunny

2009-01-04T10:57:00.000-08:00

It was a beautiful
cold day.....

Enjoy your smoothie, sip away :-)

Wow, look at those new shiny shoes!

You like them...so do I,-great news ;)

The sun's been shining all day long.

Hello, you two,-let's sing a song :-) :-) :-)

My rawsome day

2008-12-25T10:27:00.000-08:00

The sky was beautiful
today. Just look at
this:-->

The stream looked clean and pretty.

I tried to sprout some
wild rice but it took ages
(over 2 weeks!) and didn't taste
good,-its tasteless.

The egyptian geese looked tired..or perhaps they are used to silly people with cameras ?

Apple a day keeps the doctor away...

...Garlic is stronger,
it will keep him away longer :D

The ducks were enjoying the warm weather.

Birthday presents

2008-12-22T03:38:00.000-08:00

Thank you so much for all the lovely presents!!!

This is the paper and the decoration Charlie made for wrapping up the present.

Charlie gave me this beautiful heart painted on
canvas.

<--He made this one at school,-isn't it pretty?

One of our favourite passtimes is pulling silly faces
:-)

Nicky gave me two bracelets. I wear them all the time.

She did also give me this wonderful mug. I used it today,-it works ;-)

ahhhhhh, are those two pulling faces AGAIN???

Mr.Drumstick's really bombastic :)

Autumn rhymes

2008-12-05T14:20:00.000-08:00

Be loving

and

be generous

you're worth it,

you are great

Relax,

let go

Enjoy this life,

You're strong and bright

Tonight.

Lovely people

2008-11-19T16:45:00.000-08:00

Hello everyone,

thank you so much for all the positive feedback.

I didn't know that vitamin B12 deficiency is such a common disease:get well soon!

It seems that people who are constantly stressed out develop it more often. The other reason for it might be our new sterilized planet: all the fruit and vegetables get cleaned too often before they enter our kitchen, and the v.B12 gets literally washed away on the way to us.

Just because I LOVED your mails so much, I decided to make the comment button work again. Let's see how it goes ;)

Hope to hear from you again soon.

Take care,

Eva

Before and later

2008-11-13T11:09:00.000-08:00

Nicky's first month :-)

She loves her little roly-poly bear!

The first Christmas.

shhhhhhhhh

The second year.

oh, what a cuddly cat.

Nicky is 3 years old.

Charlie
is
there
too!

This is the first picture of Nicky&Charlie (together).

.........................................

Climbing is fun :-)

Here they come again!

I am deficient in vitamin B12

2008-11-09T15:27:00.000-08:00

It started with me feeling tired and dizzy most of the time. The tiredness did become so strong, I sometimes couldn't get out of my bed AT ALL, because as soon as I would, I'd start feeling dizzy and faint and that was quite scary.

Some days would be better than the others but basically I just had to learn to cope, in spite of having such great difficulties every single day. It felt like all the others can walk around and have fun and I can only do it with a heavy load hanging from my neck and pressing me down.

The deep sadness was the other thing I had to deal with in this stressful time. Sometimes even I couldn't understand myself. Usually I am very happy and full of energy, but it seemed that I am sad and irritable ALL the time from now on :( The tiniest negative thing would make me feel horrible. I remember seeing an old lady feeding ducks in the park, and (me) bursting into tears because she looked so lonely and cute.

The problem was that I didn't think about the possibility of being seriously ill: I've just lost my mother and all the emotional and physical pain I had to go through was understood as a normal human reaction, which "will eventually get better". I tried to keep going on like this and hoping for better times but it seemed impossible. It was like going through a huge piece of jungle every day and falling into deep holes each time: it was simply unbearable. I didn't even know, people can feel such strong emotional pain so often, it was a huge burden I couldn't carry any more. I did go to the doctor and checked my blood levels.My iron levels were very low . Filling them up didn't make me feel better though. At some point I started thinking it's because of the tension between Nicky&me. Everything's changed so much since couple of months. It seemed impossible to get through the day without any worldshattering problems. Welcome in puberty!

That's why I decided to go to the therapist and ask her what I am doing wrong: everybody else seemed to be managing their lives all right, only I was struggling like crazy , WHY? And this is what she said: "Nothing is wrong with you, you sound all right to me. Your daughter is going through puberty and everything she does is absolutely NORMAL! Don't worry. It'll take another couple of years and then things will calm down."
She said it with a pleasant smile, as if she was happy about it too! "Ah well, at least I know I'm not crazy".

But things kept getting worse all the time. My tongue started bleeding and felt very sore for a long time. "Oh, that's nothing, it's just a bit inflamed.",-those were my doctors words. That little inflammation took 6 weeks to heal! I could hardly eat anything without any pain, it was awful.

The next symptom were the numb hands. That one did scare me a lot because I couldn't play my violin anymore, therefore I couldn't work! Off I went to the doctor again. This time he said I do have multipe sclerosis......it was like having one shock after another. In the meantime, my emotional condition was getting worse by the minute.

Things which normally didn't bother me at all, started causing such unbearable pain, I did end up feeling helpless and lost. I stopped seeing my friends because I felt embarassed of my unstable state of mind: I was scared of bursting into tears in front of everyone. Usually I loved talking to people, laughing, having fun, but ALL those activities were no longer part of my life. Sadness and exhaustion were now my new friends :( Remembering that I used to be the exact opposite from what I was now , I did finally decide to find out on my own what the problem was, because I didn't want to believe this MS diagnosis. It just didn't sound right to me! After doing a search on the net I was amazed about the similarity of my symptoms with the other v.B12-deficient patients. After asking the doctor to check my blood levels and him refusing to do that,- "You just have to put up with the diagnosis. I know it's not easy, but it's unavoidable!",- off I went to the different doc. While I was telling him all about my current physical condition, he interrupted me by saying: "It sounds scary enough to me. Lets check them now". The result was quite frightening too: instead of normal serum B12 level 200-1000, I did only have 25! "I did have a patient who died of the v.B12 deficiency and her levels were higher than yours.Be careful and take care. I'm very concerned about you". Everything is going to be fine now, I thought. But it doesn't seem to be that easy. When you have such a big deficiency it takes time to sort things out again. I hope I won't be left with a permanent damage of the nerves.

Wish me luck!

A day full of music

2008-11-01T16:54:00.000-07:00

Nicky is a "hat person". I think she would look good in any hat :-)

Charlie is getting ready for his concert.

Here she is again, full of smiles and happy vibes :-)

<--This is the first piece they played.

Me, myself and I: listening to the music.

This is the second one: it's cute :-)

Look what I saw today

2008-10-26T09:18:00.001-07:00

Aren't they cute?

their mother was a bit worried though....just like all mothers ;-)

I love this tree, it looks so magnificent.

Look at all this food!-->

The sky was beautiful too.

I did even comb my hair for a change :-)
but only because it's Sunday ;-)

Tonight Charlie made an avocado spread and liked it very much.

This is an interesting recipe as well, isn't it? :-)

This was the culmination of the day:
I saw some migrating birds!!!
I love the sound they make, it's so gorgeous.

Our children

2008-10-24T10:54:00.000-07:00

Little voices,
Tiny hearts.
Please don't hurt them,
That's not smart.

They are gentle
They have style,
Do support them,
They need that.

They need you
and
They need freedom,
They need lots and
Lots of love.

Take your time and
Show your care
and
Our children
Will be fine.

Old news

2008-10-16T10:38:00.000-07:00

This is Nicky's new look, which is quite old: I forgot to post the new pictures.

This one is over one month old.

......so is this one.

Charlie in the park.

Nicky at the computer :-)

White coconuts

2008-10-10T04:49:00.000-07:00

.....are delicious!

Look what I created last night, being inspired with this wonderful gift of nature: spagetti made of fresh courgette with raw tomatoe sauce and fresh thai coconut.

Try to find the difference between the two:

.....did you manage.......? It's easy :-)

It's conker time!

2008-09-18T11:36:00.000-07:00

He is searching for horse chestnuts, aka conkers.

.......found one!

Then we decided to make a nice pile of them for the squirrels. :-)

what a diligent boy!

Playing is fun.

......so is drumming.

....and this is the girl who adores him ............

and her..... ;-)

Our Sundays

2008-09-01T05:45:00.000-07:00

.......do sometimes look like this:

Charlie loves conkers!

wow, look at this -->

It was a sunny day :-)

A breath of roses

2008-08-21T16:48:00.000-07:00

These sunny days are lovely
And cheer us up a lot.
I love their scent, I am content.
A breath of roses finds me.

Jump up high

2008-08-19T02:05:00.000-07:00

Here come the jumpers. Right,
Do they have them on tonight? ;-)
We've been busy all day long
Nature: that's where we belong.

We are full of hopes and dreams,
Pray for happiness and peace.
Make your inner voice come through
Everything it says is true.

The light

2008-08-17T14:04:00.000-07:00

My sadness is still there
But it became see-through.
The light comes in,
I breath it in,
There is no more despair.

New pics

2008-06-20T13:33:00.001-07:00

Here they come...

first of all, Charlie's new haircut:

<--Charlie's old hairstyle

hmmmmmmm....yummy strawberries :-)

A bite

2008-06-20T12:09:00.000-07:00

Nicky got bitten by a dog. These are the pictures from yesterday:

Get well soon, my darling!

Summertime

2008-06-09T07:10:00.000-07:00

Basketball

Nicky's looking for the basket,
Charlie wants to get the ball
It's so good, it's so fantastic,
This grand game's called basketball!

We are running, we are chasing,
We all want to have a go.
Nicky gets the ball, amazing,
What a speed and what a girl!

Charlie's good at it as well though,
He is strong and he is tough.
Quickly does he get the ball and
Throws it to the other girl.

Now the other girl is trying
To succeed: fast, faster, run!
"Try to do it better, Mummy:
just relax and have some fun".

Oh, the children! Right...they're teaching..who?
Not me?! Oh no, come on.
I thought, the adults are there
To show their abilties.

But the little ones are smart
Always knowing what they like,
They enjoy this very moment,
Being wise and living NOW.

I am grateful you're with me
Thank you for this shining light
Sunshine, peace, eternal love
What a beauty, what delight.

Skipping and strength

2008-06-08T11:10:00.000-07:00

I did create my blogs in order to cheer myself up. I am going through what you would call "tough times" and am constantly trying to find my inner peace.

My diaries help me to see the whole situation in a positive light and not to disappear in the "dark hole".

It does also help me to remember: there is always a way out, even if you can't see it yet.

It helps me to keep going and to believe in beauty and love.

I hope the hard times will be gone as fast as they came and we can start enjoying life a bit more as soon as possible.

Charlie is concentrating..........

He looks much happier on this one:

I'll try to remember this one:

"Faith in oneself...is the best and safest course." - Michelangelo

These are the things.....

2008-05-26T05:40:00.000-07:00

............you have to deal with when you have teenagers at home :-)

Nicky loves her new boots and so do I: they look nice&shiny.

We did some playing in the park as well........

well, the little ones did.....

.......while their Mummy just sat there and ate some yummy things:

:-)

Flowers

2008-05-19T15:36:00.000-07:00

It's flower time. Just look at this:

Charlie feels "jumpy" again.......

........he likes flowers too :-)

ooooooops, what's she doing?

I think, she is enjoying the sun.